An audio zine by Polymer Witch

Once upon a time, before there was Qiana there was the four elements. The cardinal patrolled the lands monitoring the elements making sure they were always aligned to the heavens. On his watch never a sour wind nor a bitter gaze ever befell them.

Then one day an unimaginable horror from beyond reality appeared before the cardinal. Glitter of fluorescent pink, purple, and turquoise rained into the holy man’s eyes. Soft and velvety embrace reached out lightly embracing him with a knowing lover’s touch. Still, he fought back, but no matter the excision or the god forsaken the cardinal could not match the force of the other dimensional creature.

Every time the cardinal would name the demon, the creature would change form and elude him. The elements swelled like balloons now askew from the disturbance from the creature. They grew and they grew like bubbles of light. Soon, the elements began to merge and new materials were formed.

The cardinal listened now, for the first time.

The creature said, “I am a Polymer Witch. Do you even know how many elements there are? Add them together! Spin them around! The world is much bigger if you only take a minute to look around! Welcome to Qiana!”, said the witch.


“Move, I’m gay!” shouted back an exasperated witch.

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